I’ve known this crusty turd for literally half of my life! Love you, schmoops. You’re the Jerry to my Georgie; the Kramer to my Jerry. This photo was snapped nearly five years ago, on our wedding night — we look so fresh and youthful! Nowadays, Ray scorns me when I frown for fear of wrinkles and my midsection is covered in surgical scars and stretch marks in efforts to beget our Sasquatch creature.